The Adventures of Bud & Herb

The Adventures of Bud & Herb: Permanent Decaytion
S01E08

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Herb: [00:00:00] The sleepy idyllic town of Mystra's Glen is home to a predator. A beast walks the outskirts silent, yet deadly. Who will fall prey to its nightmarish stench? This is Mysteries of the Verdant valley.

Bud: Y'all! We gotta get that scryball before it calls for backup!

Herb: Somebody shoot it, I can't reach it with my tenderizer! Oh no!

Grondar: Get it.

Da'ryl: Get it.

Grondar: Everybody get down!

Bud: Yee hoo! Show that googly eyed mother!@#$er who's boss! Woo hoo!

Herb: Ugh. That was a close one.

Grondar: Yeah. Mm hmm.

Da'ryl: It was, we should keep going. Come on, whoever's on the other end of that thing, they probably know [00:01:00] we're coming now.

Bud: Well, folks, welcome back to another episode of Mysteries of the Verdant Valley. I'm Bud.

Herb: And I'm Herb.

Bud: And we are currently walking down this here tunnel underneath the Cinderwood where we just whipped a scrying eye's ass.

Herb: Hells yeah.

Bud: We're trying to get inside the Blightroot where Deputy Dickensucks was supposed to take Grondar.

Herb: And really, we're also hoping to find Theo down here too.

Bud: That's right.

Grondar: We're almost directly under the Blightroot. It's just a little further now. Come on.

Bud: Da'ryl. Hey, Da'ryl!

Da'ryl: What?

Bud: How come you're pulling your punches, man?

Da'ryl: What?

Bud: I said how come you're pulling your punches, man?

Da'ryl: What do you mean? I don't punch people.

Bud: Metaphorically. Blunted crossbow bolts, you know what I'm saying? Forget it, man. Forget it.

Da'ryl: [00:02:00] Okay.

Grondar: I understand. It doesn't feel good to go back into this.

Bud: What?

Grondar: Hurting people.

Bud: I don't know, I slipped right back into it pretty easy.

Da'ryl: Yeah, you did.

Grondar: It's okay. To each his own. That's just, this is why I got out of it in the first place.

Bud: Now, Grondar,

Grondar: Yeah.

Bud: when we first spoke about all this stuff, you didn't disclose any of this knowledge about Blightroot or the Cinderwood Walker. You also didn't tell us that you were like a Terminator.

Grondar: Well.

Bud: How come, man?

Grondar: I believe I did mention that I tried adventuring and it didn't suit me. It's just I didn't tell you how far I got and what I had to do, but it's uh.

Bud: Oh, man. So there's a whole story is what you're saying.

Grondar: Well, uh, there is. It's a dark tale. Uh, lots of things. Uh, not happy.

Da'ryl: I like dark tales.

Bud: Gerty, do have a crazy, goth background too?

Da'ryl: Yeah, what's your deepest, darkest secret?

Gerty: I'm a [00:03:00] practicing medium. Goth is what I do, darling.

Bud: Oh, okay. Alright, but did you have a tragic backstory where, I don't know, like, maybe when you were little somebody chopped off your hands and that's why you got into doing spiritual medium stuff? I don't know!

Da'ryl: What?

Gerty: I assure you all of my digits are very much intact.

Bud: I mean, they look like they were, but, you know, I didn't want to just jump to conclusions.

Da'ryl: So your first assumption of people is that their dark backstory is that their hands got chopped off?

Bud: I mean, mine almost got chopped off once. Doesn't that happen to just about everybody? Herb, you had your hands chopped off once. I mean, you weren't really even got no hands.

Herb: Nah, I got claws.

Bud: Yeah, see? Told ya.

Da'ryl: Wow.

Bud: Well, anyways, uh, sorry about that, Grondar, I didn't mean to cut you off. Sounds like you went through some hard times, man.

Grondar: Oh, well, you [00:04:00] know, it's not much, just an age old story of a boy who dreams to be a soldier when he grows up. You know sometimes real life isn't quite as romantic as your dreams make it out to be.

Bud: Oh, okay. Well, I mean, that don't sound too bad. You made it sound real dark.

Grondar: Well, due to my solitary nature and, uh, an inclination to not speak too much, my clan made me an assassin.

Bud: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You were an assassin?

Grondar: Wasn't my choice. But, uh, it was my job. After a while you become calloused towards those kinds of things, you know.

Bud: How many people did you kill?

Grondar: I'm ashamed to say I can't really, uh, recollect, but it was a lot.

Bud: Damn.

Grondar: And the way I could sleep at night was knowing that, uh, they were all [00:05:00] bad people in one way or another. The last straw was, I was sent out to assassinate a potential

who was five years old. And his dog.

Bud: What the hells?

Grondar: I failed that mission which meant immediate excommunication from my tribe. I haven't killed since.

Da'ryl: Well, that is a dark tale.

Bud: Wow, Grondar, that is messed up, man.

Herb: Yeah.

Gerty: Would you like a hug?

Grondar: I would take a hug, sure.

Gerty: There, there.

Grondar: Thank you, Gertie. I'm sorry if I shared too much.

Bud: Oh, no, man. No, no, of course not. No, I'm just, I'm glad you're on our side. You know what I'm saying?

Herb: Yeah.

Grondar: Yeah. Well, me too.

Herb: And I tell you what Grondar, us and the Mystra's Glen Cryptid Club, we can be your new clan.

Grondar: I'd like that.

Bud: Absolutely. We will be your new clan. And we won't force you to kill nobody. Except for maybe Sheriff Thorne.

Herb: Yeah.

Grondar: Oh. Um.

Bud: Oh [00:06:00] yeah, and them creepy cannibalistic guards. Definitely should kill them.

Bud: And you know what? @#$% it. We should probably kill Deputy Dicklesson too.

Grondar: Bud, I don't think that's gonna happen. I'm sorry, I'm just...

Bud: I'm just @#$%ing with you, man. You ain't gotta kill nobody, alright?

Grondar: Alright.

Herb: Hmm. Looks like we're at the end of the tunnel.

Grondar: According to my maps, this tunnel should keep going. These roots and thorny vines? They shouldn't be here.

Gerty: Well, this is just terrible! How are we going to get to the other side?

Herb: Heh. It's gonna take a lot more than some roots and vines to keep us out. Time to slice and dice.

Gerty: Get it, girlfriend.

Bud: Oh, snap. Work it, Herb.

Grondar: Hmm.

Herb: What's going on here?

Bud: What? What's wrong?

Herb: Every time I chop down one of these vines another one just grows right back in its [00:07:00] place.

Bud: What the hells?

Da'ryl: They, uh, must be enchanted.

Herb: Must be.

Gerty: Would a little bit of firepower maybe help here?

Bud: Like literal fire?

Gerty: Literal fire, magical fire.

Bud: Sounds good to me.

Da'ryl: Shush! Everybody, quiet!

Bud: What? What is it?

Da'ryl: Listen!

Gerty: What is that?

Bud: It's like some freaky breathing or something.

Oh, hell no. That is creepy as hell, man.

Barlow: CHOP CHOP CHOP! Hehehe.

DM: You hear the distinct voice of Barlow Bristlebottom coming from the other side of this barrier.

Bud: Barlow? Is that you?

Barlow: You thought you had the better of me back at my shop, didn't you? Well, who's laughing [00:08:00] now?

Bud: Barlow, I think you're slipping, man. What you doing down here?

Barlow: Oh, you'll find out soon enough, soon.

Bud: Uh, man, I thought you was creepy before, but you are really outdoing yourself.

Barlow: Buddlicker, you are a fool. You always have been. This is my barrier and you'll never make it past.

Bud: You're what? Wait, you made this?

Barlow: Oh, yes and that's not all. Just wait. You'll see, you'll see.

Bud: What the @#$%? Barlow, let us through here right now, man. We gotta get to Theo.

Gerty: I'm going to [00:09:00] step in front of the party, pushing them behind me, and cast Burning Hands at first level.

DM: Awesome. The leaves and the thorns burn and crinkle, and yet, when the flames cease, you see the burnt charred remains quickly start filling back in. Weirdly enough, not with like healthy vines and roots, but rather with dead, rotten ones that are just like calcified and hardened.

Barlow: Huff and puff all you like cretins. I have important work to do. His work. Goodbye now.

Gerty: Gerty would like to cast Detect Thoughts to see if he'll give up, you know, how to get through.

Bud: Let's go!

Herb: Get it, Gerty!

DM: He's got advantage on these. 13 total?

Gerty: Nope. 14 was the [00:10:00] Save.

DM: Awesome!

Grondar: Oh.

Bud: Oh! Come on, Gerty!

DM: Awesome. Awesome. Okay, great, great, great, great, great, great. Um, he's actually racing through multiple different thoughts at the moment. One is:

Barlow: Just a little more time. Just a little more. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I must finish. I must finish it.

DM: He seems to be working on something. The second sort of surface thought that's happening simultaneously is thinking:

Barlow: Keep them busy. Keep them busy. Only a little longer now. You only need a little more time.

DM: Then you also are able to probe deeper.

Barlow: His orders were clear. Keep these pests at bay long enough for our plans to come to fruition.

DM: Despite his bravado he's very worried that he's not going to complete what's at hand. The thing that looms large in his mind is a single word that you don't get any further sort of explication with this spell, but the thing that is looming [00:11:00] large in his mind is

Barlow: Aelfric.

Gerty: Aelfric. And that's familiar to me?

DM: No.

Gerty: Okay, not at all. I will snap at Da'ryl and Grondar and I will mouth at them,

He's trying to finish something.

Da'ryl: Hmm.

Herb: How are we gonna get through these stupid vines? We're never gonna get to Theo if we can't get through this.

Bud: Huh. Oh, I wonder. Herb, Herb, hang on, man. I think I got an idea. And I pull out the medallion, the one we found in the bugbear cave, because it had vines and thorns all over it. And I just, I hold it up to the wall to see if, if maybe something happens.

DM: The wall pulses for a moment and then seems to be waiting at the [00:12:00] ready.

Bud: Holy @#$%! I can't believe that worked, man. What do we do now?

Herb: Oh, Bud! Maybe there's a password. Like the riddles.

Bud: Blightroot.

DM: No change.

Bud: No? Okay. Uh, what about Mycelium Network?

DM: The wall starts to wither and retract into the walls. Beyond, you see a chamber where Barlow Bristlebottom, wearing a diaper on his head is tinkering with a number of magical seeming artifacts and he looks up, eyes wide.

Barlow: What? How did you? No! No! There's no time for this!

Bud: Oh, hey there, Barlow. Why don't you say hello to my big ass friend?

Herb: I'm gonna charge him.

Bud: Yeah, Herb, kick his dick in the dirt.

DM: What would you like to do as you are on him in a moment before he has a chance to react?

Herb: So as the [00:13:00] vines start to wither back Herb gets prepped like a sprinter, and when there's just enough space for her shell to fit, she takes off running as fast as she can, and she just tackles him. Cause if he's doing something, we gotta remove his opposable thumbs from the situation. I'm not breaking his thumbs, to be clear. I'm just saying I gotta take them away from whatever he's doing.

DM: So, he was in the process of, like, twisting something into something else. You don't even stop to see what he was doing, you just shoulder tackle. Do do do do do! This old gnome, like, just breath shoots out.

Barlow: Uh! Uh!

Herb: You're a stupid potato!

Barlow: No, no. I won't let you enjoy the fruits of my inventions.

DM: And he pops a mushroom in his mouth underneath the diaper.

Bud: No!

DM: And he

Herb: I try to [00:14:00] pull it out of his mouth!

Gerty: Like a dog with something in its mouth. You're trying to wrestle it out?

Herb: Yes.

DM: Roll a Sleight of Hand Check. Ooh, 22.

Herb: 11!

DM: Not quick enough.

It's already gone. And as you see, he's like munching on it. And you see purple blisters forming on the old man's lips and there are veins of purple that turn a putrescent yellow across his face. And he, he says

Barlow: Argh, long...live... those who are reborn through...aaagggh.

Herb: And now, an important public service announcement from

B. [00:15:00] A. D.

Rankle: There's something out there. It's after kids everywhere. It entices them, confuses them, and can even kill them. That's right. Illegal drugs are everywhere. But there's a new one out on the streets. It's called Taint. Taint coaxes you in, then when you least expect it, it grabs you. Makes you feel strong, confident, beautiful, powerful. Like you could throw a boulder into space and expect a thank you note from the gods. Like you could, like you could take a one way trip to the hells and back and spank the fanny of every pit fiend so hard they'll run crying back to Beelzebub. It's like going into a rage and never coming out. You're hooked and it's hard to get away.

[00:16:00] And, have you seen what Devil Weed does to some people? You've see them. Total burnouts lazing around the town square, tapping a cajon in the drum circle, reeking of patchouli and dazeberry incense. You are so amped up on Taint, you want to rip their limbs off and club them to death with their disembodied arms. You want to kick them in the hacky sack so hard they'll have three Adam's Apples. They don't deserve to live, they don't even TAINT! Uh, uh, uh, um, so don't forget kids, uh, drugs are bad. [00:17:00]

DM: Mushrooms grow and sprout up out of his mouth and his entire face seems to decay before your eyes as he is taken over by rot.

Herb: No! I turn back and I look through the portal. Gerty! Gerty! Gerty, get in here! I need your help!

Gerty: Gerty comes running through the portal as soon as she hears this. I'm coming, I'm coming! Herb, what happened?

Herb: I don't know what happened! I just tackled him! I didn't want him to finish his thing, and he, he just, he ate this mushroom, and I don't know what happened, Gerty! I think, I think he died.

Gerty: I'm going to try a Lesser Restoration on him.

DM: It [00:18:00] doesn't seem like your spell has any effect on the condition of death and so has no effect.

Gerty: When I see that that doesn't happen, I will then touch him a second time with a Spare the Dying.

DM: You feel something as you cast this spell. You feel a profundity to this spell that you have not felt when casting it before, because you can almost sense through the divine power that you are pumping into this corpse, essentially, that there is a process at work converting the living flesh to un-flesh that you have halted.

Grondar: Mmm.

DM: So your spell would have no effect on undead, but he was not undead yet, and it seems like you have prevented that process from continuing.

Herb: I don't know why he did this.

Da'ryl: Least he's got the diaper on his head.

DM: He has a diaper on his head, he also has robes [00:19:00] similar to the ones that you pulled from the chest. He is also wearing an amulet as well.

Da'ryl: Hmm.

Bud: Okay.

Gerty: Would I get the sense that any sort of healing magic would have any effect on him at this point?

DM: Something that could restore life to dead things potentially could. If, if you were able to resurrect someone or revive someone. Potentially.

Bud: Oh, man.

Grondar: Good try, Gerty.

Bud: Yeah, Gerty.

Herb: You know, I didn't like him but this is messed up.

Bud: No, Herb, don't feel too bad for Barlow.

Grondar: This is what he wanted.

Bud: He's like Sheriff Thorne, they want this.

Herb: It's weird.

Bud: It's real weird. Uh, he looks a lot better than he used to right now, though I gotta say.

Herb: Well, why don't we take the diaper and this amulet? I feel bad because he's like dead, but I guess he, I don't know. We need...

Bud: Yeah, let me take a look at that diaper. Is it just like the other ones?

DM: It is just like the other ones. He shoved the mushroom [00:20:00] up underneath the diaper, and so it's also, like, smeared on the inside a little bit with this, like, mushroom goo and spores and, like,

Herb: Ew.

DM: rubbed off a little bit, it's kind of gross.

Bud: That's nasty, man. That ain't natural.

Da'ryl: Hmm.

Bud: Turn it inside out if you're gonna use it.

DM: Now in the wake of this very brief interaction, you all are able to take a look at this chamber.

There are a number of odd contraptions and artifacts here. What Bristlebottom was working on was a console that seems to be an odd mix of magical gnomish tinkering fused with plant life that has died that has rotted away and yet it's still like supporting the machinery. There was a open slot chamber that he was trying to work that mushroom into before he got tackled and [00:21:00] there are rotted dead roots that are connecting that console to another two chambers that appear to have been shaped out of long dead tree stumps.

The chambers are hollowed out and so they have a space for like small items to be placed inside. One of those items is a wand of some kind. In the other chamber, there is an exact replica of that wand.

Bud: Hmm.

DM: Also around the perimeter of the room are some closed and some open crates, all bearing the insignia of Barlow Bristlebottom's.

Bud: Interesting.

Gerty: I do want to mention one thing, before we get too far away from this, dears. As I probed his thoughts, there was an [00:22:00] overwhelming reference to something or someone named Aelfric.

DM: All of the mushrooms and mycelial network in this room pulse with a bioluminescent glow and it seems like the room for a brief moment hums to life with ominous foreboding energy before pitching back down into darkness.

Bud: What the?

Gerty: Okay.

Herb: Gertie, did you do that?

Bud: Gerty, what'd you do?

Gerty: I just said the thing I heard him saying in his own head! I don't want to say it again, but how about I spell it? A E L F R I C. Don't say it out loud.

Bud: Okay.

Da'ryl: Hmm.

Bud: Ale freak!

That didn't work. I guess you gotta pronounce it just right.

Gerty: I think phonetics are important here, dear.

Herb: Yeah, from now on, we're gonna refer to it as freak nasty. Okay?

Bud: Old Freaky.

Herb: Do any of us recognize Old Freaky?

Bud: Yeah. [00:23:00]

DM: No. Not, something that seems familiar.

Bud: Okay.

Da'ryl: May I take a look at this wand?

DM: It seems

like a non-descript wand. It could definitely be used by a spellcaster as a spellcasting focus. There's a fun quirk that wizards and enchanters and artificers do where they weave into the design of their magic items little clues as to what the magic item does. Whoever created this was uninterested in any of those shenanigans. This wand, actually, as you hold it, seems not upset, but like closer to being disappointed or unamused

is really what the wand feels like in your hand. It does seem to have some power in it and it is the sort of thing that if you wanted to experiment you could point it at people and things and see what happens, in the absence of detecting anything.

Da'ryl: What's this other wand all about? Weren't there two?

DM: Yes, the two wands [00:24:00] appear identical to one another, like truly, truly identical.

Bud: Like the diapers were. Oh, snap. And this is inside some machine type of thing?

DM: Yeah, you know the teleporters from The Fly?

Bud: Oh yeah.

DM: It's kinda that situation, but made out of rotting tree stumps.

Bud: Okay. I'm going to try something real quick.

Grondar: Mm hmm.

Bud: Wassup?

Grondar: I think we're thinking the same thing.

Bud: That I'm going to get inside this thing and make a Double Bud?

Grondar: Oh no.

Bud: No?

Grondar: No, please. Don't. No. Just, let's start small. Maybe this apple.

Bud: Okay.

Grondar: Yeah.

Bud: Oh, no, I was gonna do my crossbows, so I could have some sick double crossbows. Pew pew!

Gerty: Maybe we start with a bolt just in case something goes wrong and then...

Grondar: Yeah, for safety, you know.

Bud: Man, we ain't got time for this. We gotta let her rip. Come on, we got Theo to save.

Herb: That's right!

Bud: Yeah!

Grondar: Alright then. Okay.

Bud: I'm gonna stick my crossbow in here. And if this don't work, I'm gonna [00:25:00] be utterly weaponless, but it's totally fine.

DM: So you place the crossbow in one of the stumps. You head back to the console. Make me an Arcana Check.

Bud: What? Man, I don't know @#$% about Arcanas.

DM: Hahaha! So then why are you messing with magic?

Gerty: Guidance!

Bud: Actually, I'm not bad. I'm not bad, but I'll take that Guidance though.

Gerty: Add a d4.

Bud: Oh, Gods, that's terrible. @#$% sandwich. d4. Okay, that could be worse. That's 10.

DM: Okay, so you place your crossbow in one of those tree stumps, you come back around to the console, you prepare yourself, you look down at all the arcane sigils inscribed into the metal and you see the odd levers made of calcified and petrified wood.

Bud: Oh, I got this.

DM: And you have no idea what to do.

Bud: Oh, man, just start mashing buttons.

DM: You start mashing buttons and pulling on things and roll me a d100.

Bud: Come [00:26:00] on, man. Let's go!

Gerty: That's right. That's right. Feel Let the answer come to you naturally.

Bud: Oh yeah, I'm gonna manifest this double crossbow. I'm gonna be a badass. Ooh, that's a, a three and a double zero. That's a...?

DM: That's a three.

The machine begins to hum, but it doesn't glow. It doesn't seem terribly well powered. As you mash and jam on buttons, there is a metallic hum and a whine and there's a of smoke, quenching black smoke that bursts out of the tree stump and in the other stump, there is a similar of smoke, and then the console that you were messing with, it's like a metal plate being supported by a strange rotting vegetation and plant life.

The rotting vegetation and plant life finally gives way and collapses with a sad squelch. There's a distinct smell of gross sort of rotten veggies [00:27:00] that just wafts through the air. In one tree stump is your original crossbow, which is only slightly warped and then in the other is a tangled mess of

wood and metal.

It looks like a crossbow that's been in a car crash and it is smoking. But there you have it. This does not appear to be the kind of thing that anyone would be able to try again with this device, unless they were to repair it.

Herb: Ugh. It smells like my compost pile out in the garden. Ugh.

Grondar: Oh, well.

Da'ryl: I don't smell anything.

Herb: Oh, diaper.

Bud: Oh, yeah.

Da'ryl: Oh, right. I'm wearing the diaper.

Herb: You are.

Bud: Well, I'm gonna collect my crossbow, dust it off, uh, I'm gonna collect this other heap and

just stick it in my pouch.

Herb: Bud, how's that crossbow looking? Is it messed up? Do you need?

Bud: [00:28:00] I don't know if it's gonna work so good, but you never know, it might come in handy for something.

Herb: Do you want to borrow my soup ladle, just in case?

Bud: My crossbow's fine, it's made of magic. You can't destroy this thing. Pew pew! Yeah, alright.

Herb: Good.

Bud: I think I might have, uh, destroyed this, whatever this was.

Herb: Honestly, Bud, maybe it isn't a bad thing after all. Whatever he was working on, I don't know that we really want other people having access to it, you know?

Bud: That's right, I meant to do that.

Herb: Yeah! Good job, Bud.

Grondar: Very good job.

Bud: Thanks, man. Appreciate ya.

Grondar: Should we keep on?

Bud: No, no, no! Everybody spread out, we gotta look for clues for Theo, plus there's some crates over here that old Barlow had, so let's dig through those and just see if we can find anything that might lead us to where Theo is.

Herb: Okay.

Bud: I'm gonna investigate this mother jammer.

Da'ryl: Alright.

DM: Give me your Investigation Checks and tell me specifically when you give me your roll, what you are interested in exploring in the room. So I'm going to give you again a sort of [00:29:00] layout. So we had that center console, which is now collapsed in a slag heap. We have those two stumps that are smoking. We have a pile of open crates, a pile of still closed crates, all bearing the insignia of Barlow Bristlebottom. There does not appear to be any exit from this room, but this chamber does seem different than the ones you've been traveling through, while the rest appear to be tunnels in a same way that might be created by like earthworms, granted an enormous earthworm. This one appears to be more shaped by humanoids. It's still hollowed out wet, damp earth and mud being held together by rotten tree roots and disgusting gooey vegetation, yeah? But it has a geometry to it. It feels like a square room, really. Like someone planned this, as opposed to animals [00:30:00] just like burrowing.

Bud: Okay.

Gerty: I'm staying near the corpse and I went Investigation for an 18. So I'm just trying to like tap into the spiritual vibe of this place and what may be happening around, because of with this now lifeless form hanging in limbo.

DM: So you're putting together clues and you're sitting next to this corpse and you also listened to his thoughts. He seemed to have two purposes here. He was working on something and he was trying to stop y'all from moving forward, or to delay you at least, and it seems like his orders were to not engage with you. Y'all goaded him into engaging with you, but he didn't want to. So it's clear that you're on the right track. Y'all are moving forward and, whoever these "Flower Children" are, it seems their goal is just to keep you wasting [00:31:00] time.

Bud: I'm gonna dig through these crates. I got a 14.

DM: The crates all seem to have a variety of minor magical items. And being the purveyor of magical goods that you are, you can identify most of these, Bud, as common magic items. And they seem to have all been brought here from the pawn shop. These are magic items that people had been pawning to Barlow Bristlebottom that he was bringing down here to experiment on.

Bud: Oh, okay.

DM: Also, if anyone would like to pull a common magic item from the pile.

Bud: Yeah.

DM: I'll say as an as an abstraction, everyone can pick a single common magic item.

Grondar: Okay.

Herb: I'm specifically looking, recognizing that this is now a room instead of a cave, and seeing how the previous door was, I [00:32:00] have the medallion from Barlow and I'm walking around the room and investigating the walls and seeing if there are any other hidden doorways.

DM: It is ingeniously disguised through the very rotting plant matter that makes up the rest of the room, but, you know from rotting plant matter Herb.

Herb: I know compost, you know?

DM: And you scrape with your claws, you scrape away a bit of compost to indeed discover on the back wall a similar root and vine barrier as to the one that you came through that would lead beyond these chambers. And as you hold up the medallion, it seems to like pulse the same way the last one did.

Herb: Okay, everybody. Grab what you need. I found the exit. We should move fast.

Da'ryl: Da'ryl has been searching the soft ground for footprints, obviously identifying Barlow's, but seeing if there was anyone else moving through this [00:33:00] chamber. Particularly little child footprints.

DM: Sure. Yeah, what was the roll?

Da'ryl: Oh, 19.

DM: There were not child footprints, but you were able to find in the soft, wet, squelchy earth the marks of a heavy boot followed by a mark that could only have been made by a small creature struggling in a sack.

Da'ryl: Hmm.

Gerty: Oh, no.

Da'ryl: I think Theo came through here, was dragged through in a sack, or someone else.

DM: And as you're following that track, you bump right into Herb's shell as it leads through the barrier that Herb found.

Herb: Oh, Hi.

Da'ryl: Yeah, this way.

Herb: Oh, okay.

Da'ryl: Whoever was being dragged, was dragged through that, I will say brilliantly discovered doorway, Herb.

Herb: Thank you!

Da'ryl: As Da'ryl is talking and

pulling something from [00:34:00] a crate. Discreetly.

DM: Any other rolls?

Grondar: And I got a 21 to check out the console and subsequent stumps.

DM: Your instinct here is strong, piecing all of these things together and following the logical threads that this artifact, whatever it was, was able to duplicate magic items. It also seems like Bristlebottom was working his way up towards items of greater power.

He had not gotten past common magic item yet, but he was working his way on up to being able to duplicate more powerful magic items. He clearly has already succeeded in duplicating diapers.

Grondar: Important. Okay.

DM: The other thing that I should say too, is that there is also in and amongst the crates is a six pack of Dr. Healgood's Natural [00:35:00] One.

Bud: Oh man.

Grondar: I do like that stuff. Hmm.

Da'ryl: Crack me a cold one.

Bud: I prefer it hot, personally.

Da'ryl: Gross. That's disgusting.

Bud: What? It's natural. It says it right here on the label.

Gerty: I should mention at this point, that Barlow was put here as some kind of distraction to keep us busy from what's really going on. So we may want to hasten through here now, friends.

Bud: Let's shag ass is what you're sayin. Okay. Let's do it.

Gerty: Yes.

Grondar: Yes.

Bud: Check out what I found. I found this Breathing Bubble. Y'all ever seen one of these?

Da'ryl: Bud, nobody cares right now.

Bud: Oh, sorry. Goddamn, man. Y'all are cranky today. Y'all need a snack or something? Herb, here hook him up. Got some low blood sugar over here on aisle six.

Herb: Actually, you know what? That's a very good point. Before we continue on, I know we're in a rush and we have to move fast. I spent some time earlier today making some treats.

Bud: If you use a bonus action to eat one of your treats, then you gain three temporary hit points. Okay, put those in your bags. Let's [00:36:00] go!

Da'ryl: Thanks, Herb.

DM: Okay, so you all make your way into the next chambers and this is the first time in this entire travel that the way has been lit. There are sconces on the walls that have been oddly drilled and hammered into long dead root systems. But as you make your way forward, the path opens up. The first thing that you hear, even before you see it, is

Thorne: I know you're there, so come out very, very slowly, or the boy gets it.

DM: And as you make your way around the corner, you see Sheriff Thorne standing next to a small cage holding Theo Diggle. He has his crossbow [00:37:00] leveled at Theo who seems to be in some kind of daze. Theo is halfway between waking and dreaming, but he's holding on to the bars and he doesn't seem concerned by any of this, he seems lost in another world. And Sheriff Thorne says

Thorne: Alright, one at a time. Step forward and toss over your weapons. I won't be asking again, so hurry it up.

Bud: Da'ryl, do your thing, man. Okay. All right, man. All right. Here, I'm putting my crossbow down. Okay, just, everybody's cool. Just be cool. Okay?

Thorne: You should have taken the hint. You could have just stayed there in that cell and you would have been spared all that's coming to you. But now, you are going to be made an [00:38:00] example of in front of the entire town.

Bud: Look, you can make an example of me all you want, man. You can get ol' Deputy Dip@#$% in here, get him to beat my ass as many times as you want, but do you really want to hurt that harmless little boy? Do you know the pain you're gonna inflict on his whole family? Do you really want that?

Thorne: The Diggle family, indeed, all of Mystra's Glen, one day will be a footnote in history. But we, the Children of the Flowering Death, will live on forevermore.

You're right, I don't want to hurt this little one. He's far more important than any of you can realize.

DM: and Theo Diggle at this point, shakes his head as if he's waking up from a dream. And he says,

Theo: He's tired. He wants to sleep. He just wants to rest. Let Todd [00:39:00] rest!

Thorne: Shut it, boy!

DM: And Sheriff Thorne stamps his foot down on a mushroom patch that he was standing near and a cloud of spores sprays out, not just from that mushroom cloud, but from the walls of this chamber. And as they do, your, and I mean all of your vision, fuzzes out at the edges. And time slows to a crawl and when you wake up you are somewhere else entirely.

Evan: The Adventures of Bud & Herb is brought to you by The Pocket Dimension. Created by Anna Fitzgerald and Evan Bivins. Episode 8, Permanent [00:40:00] Decaytion, stars Evan Bivins as Crygglinexxerflump "Bud" Buddlicker, Barlow Bristlebottom, and Sheriff Thorne. Anna Fitzgerald as Herb and Theo Diggle. Seth McKay as Da'ryl X'orrin, Matthew Bivins as Grondar Pawsniff, Alison Kendrick as Gerty McGillicuddy, and Alejandro Tey as the Dungeon Master. Produced and edited by Anna Fitzgerald, Evan Bivins, Matthew Bivins, and Alison Kendrick. Sound Design by Evan Bivins. Original character art and poster by Bridgit Connell. Special thanks to Alejandro Tey and Greg Hess. Please consider supporting our show by becoming a patron at patreon.com/enterthepocketdimension or find us on YouTube and all socials @enterthepocketdimension