The Adventures of Bud & Herb

S01E09 Caption Video
===

Bud: [00:00:00] The sleepy, idyllic town of Mystra's Glen is home to a predator.

Herb: A beast walks the outskirts silent, yet deadly.

Bud: Who will fall prey to its nightmarish stench?

Both: This is Mysteries of the Verdant Valley.

Herb: Oh BudBudBud! I think I got the MyCorder working again. I'm sorry I, I guess I must've landed on it. It got a little squished, but I think I've got it up and running now.

Bud: It's all good, man.

Herb: I'll get everybody up to speed. Why don't you wake up the others real fast?

Bud: Okay. Let's start with Gerty, 'cause we know she's a sound sleeper. Yeah. Oh my Gods. Gerty. Gerty, man. Don't let me go through this again. Come on. Gerty, Gerty, Gerty, Gerty, Gerty. Wake up, man.

Herb: Welcome back everybody to another episode of Mysteries of the Verdant Valley. @#$% has hit the fan, I repeat, @#$% has hit the fan, but at least [00:01:00] Theo is alive for now. Bud, did you get everybody awake?

Bud: Almost. Grondar, Grondar. Uh, wait, give me some of that red onion. Okay, here, here, here. Alright, everybody, take a sniff of this.

Grondar: Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Bud: Everybody get up.

Grondar: Alright. Woah. What happened?

Bud: Well, we're not sure yet.

Da'ryl: Yeah. Where are we?

Bud: Somewhere in the Cinderwood.

Dinglehopper: I am so proud that all of Mystra's Glen has been able to come out and show their support for the beleaguered Diggle family!

Herb: Oh no! The fundraiser! It started!

Dinglehopper: Everyone, well, almost everyone, uh, but I'm sure those who are also not present are, are still caring citizens in their own way.

Herb: We must be close to the edge of the forest if we can hear it from here.

Grondar: Yeah, that would make sense.

Da'ryl: It's kinda weird, y'all, but nothing's missing. Still have all my @#$%.

Herb: Okay, that's good.

Grondar: Hmm. Based on where the moon's sitting, we've lost [00:02:00] about an hour.

Herb: An hour?! We've lost an hour?!

Grondar: I guess we were out for a while.

Herb: Oh no.

Bud: Who drug us up here?

Grondar: I think the more important question is, why did they leave us here with our weapons and

Gerty: I think the most important question is, where is Theo?

Dungeon Master: The moon goes dark. As darkness descends on all of you. Those of you who have darkvision, perhaps some of you have experienced this phenomenon before, but it is inky black darkness, like a fog that covers you all. I would like each of you to make me a wisdom saving throw.

Bud: Oh no.

Herb: Eight.

Bud: Nine.

Da'ryl: Ten.

Grondar: Seven.

Gerty: Twenty-five.

Dungeon Master: As the tritone whisper builds throughout [00:03:00] the area that you are in and you hear the unmistakable sound that precedes the coming of the Cinderwood Walker. Every one of you, with the exception of Gerty, is gripped by fear.

Herb: Bud!

Dungeon Master: The darkness that has descended upon you gives way to a very dim visibility. You can make out only barely this enormous silhouette creeping, clutching towards you. It seems to be growing in the darkness almost like it is bubbling up from the ground. You hear the squelching of wet, dead vegetation and the cracking of old, dry branches, and then two beams of yellow in the darkness further shining a stark contrast against the bare hint of a silhouette of enormous misshapen [00:04:00] antlers.

Grondar: It's the Walker. It's the Walker. And Grondar is backing away as the fear overtakes him. He's not used to being terrified like this. He keeps just repeating that. It's the Walker.. He manages to take out three arrows and knock them with his hands just shaking like a leaf. I've been studying The Walker for so long. I don't want to hurt it.

Dungeon Master: Oh, it seems to want to hurt you.

Grondar: So he keeps backing away and backing away. He hasn't used magic in so long, but somehow out of nowhere, the words to Hail of Thorns comes to him. Those three arrows seem to multiply before I've let loose [00:05:00] the bow and he pulls back as far as he can, still walking back, and he lets them loose and they just, they just multiply. Double, triple, quadruple. And this wall of arrows flies in the Walker's direction.

Dungeon Master: Roll your attacks with disadvantage.

Grondar: A 23, a 17, and a 13.

Dungeon Master: Terrified as you are, shaky as your aim is, this enormous creature provides a broad enough target for two of your arrows to find their mark and the Cinderwood Walker screams out into the night and then the Walker is going to charge right up towards you. As it rushes you all with a speed unimaginable for something its size. It moves so quick. [00:06:00] The rotten stench of death just overwhelms. Everyone here, I need to make a constitution saving throw. You are at disadvantage on this con save unless you have diapers around your head.

Grondar: Nine for Grondar.

Bud: I also got a nine.

Dungeon Master: Okay.

Gerty: 14 for Gerty.

Herb: Even with disadvantage, I've smelled this smell before, and I got a 19!

Dungeon Master: Great.

Da'ryl: Got a 1, baby.

Gerty: Uh oh!

Bud: Oh, no.

Dungeon Master: Anyone who rolled underneath a 10, you are paralyzed. Anyone who succeeded, you are immune to any future rolls against the stench for this encounter. Grondar. First, it is going to claw at you. These massive claws lash out in the dim light. 22 to hit, for 11 points of slashing damage and 8 points of necrotic [00:07:00] damage. And I need you to make a DC 15 strength saving throw.

Grondar: That's a 16.

Dungeon Master: This enormous claw SMASHES into you with the force of a sledgehammer, and you take the blow, and it shoves you backwards, but you remain on your feet, although you're shaky for a moment. You have reason to be afraid, Grondar. All the more so is as you look down, and where the beast struck you are small tendrils of mushroom-like rotting spores. That's only its first attack. It rears back up and it roars again into the night and as it brings its hooves down into the soil you're able to leap out of the way of that attack, but you are not able to get out of the way in time as it swings its head around, bringing its skeletal antlers careening into your body. That's going to be 11 points of piercing [00:08:00] damage and I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

Bud: Grondar!

Grondar: That's a seven.

Dungeon Master: You all watch with horror as Grondar's form silhouetted in the dim light, is lifted up into the air by this enormous creature. You are impaled, grappled on its antlers.

Grondar: Oh boy.

Cinderwood Walker: Rawr!

Gerty: Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no you don't! Hey, hey! Walker over here! Gerty is going to try and get their attention with the use of her Channel Divinity. Be with me now, Dawn Blossom. And Gerty presents her amulet, which looks like this hieroglyphic eye surrounded by sunbeams. A massive beam of white light will burst forth from her, and I need for the Cinderwood Walker to make a constitution saving throw, DC 14.

Dungeon Master: 15, is what it rolls.

Bud: Damn!

Dungeon Master: As you present your holy [00:09:00] symbol and as light beams out, completely dispelling this darkness, this aura that surrounds the Cinderwood Walker. Every single one of you, you're able to now see in stark contrast, and it is a horrifying sight, Grondar has been impaled on this creature's antlers and is dangling like a ragdoll up in the air. And yet, when you look at this creature fully in the light for the first time ever, getting evidence, really, of this creature's existence and what it looks like, it has been mashed together from the dead remains of multiple animals. And as you can look into its glowing yellow eyes, it doesn't look terrifying. It looks sad and tired. No one is afraid anymore, as dispelling the darkness also dispels the fear aura.

Gerty: Grondar! Stay with me! And as the space around Grondar almost seems to dim, while that around Gerty brightens, she has cast [00:10:00] Sanctuary on Grondar, warding him from attacks and spells.

Dungeon Master: You are able to provide some light on this situation and some protection for Grondar, and then shielding itself from the light, the Cinderwood Walker slaps at you with its enormous claw.

Gerty: Oh, get lit! As more light pours in around Gerty, who has just used her reaction of Warding Flare to impose disadvantage on the attack.

Dungeon Master: 13 to hit.

Gerty: That will not hit.

Dungeon Master: So it swipes at you and you can see where its big claw, now shining in the light, bits of rot and maggots and grubs that are flying through the air as it does so. That'll be one of its legendary actions. Herb.

Herb: I step up in front of the Walker, and I look at him right in the eyeballs, and I say, TODD! We don't want to hurt you. We want to help you. And we want to help Theo too! [00:11:00] Please! Please just help us! Help us help you!

Dungeon Master: You see this creature look at you with just a world weariness and the entire form sags a little bit. And you see, for a brief moment, its eyes, the glow, that yellow glow in the darkness that has chased you all, dims, and then flashes again, and the entire thing is reanimated with force. But it seems like you are getting somewhere. I'm gonna say that that is your action. I'm gonna say it was, as a first attempt, successful. And I'm gonna say that this creature burns one of its legendary resistances as whatever animating force is coursing through it, asserts [00:12:00] itself.

===

Bud: Hey there folks, Bud here, and I've got a special message for all you foodies out there. You know, I loves to eat, but I just don't have time to shop for ingredients, measure and chop a whole bunch of @#$%. And I'll be honest with y'all, I can't cook for @#$%. I'm sick of making meals that taste worse than @#$%. I was just about to give up eating altogether when I discovered Bread Basket. Bread Basket uses only the freshest ingredients locally sourced right here in the Verdant Valley and delivered straight to your doorstep by a trusty team of clockwork couriers. And the best part? You don't have to lift a finger. All their kits come with easy to follow instructions that any dumb@#$ could understand. Just open the box, follow the recipe, and @#$%^&* [00:13:00] You'll have a feast fit for a fire giant. Meal kits come in a variety of themes, like Goblin Gourmet, Faefare, and Orc-tastic. Whether you're a halfling, or a half@#$% They got something for everyone.

Bread Basket. Savor the flavor of homegrown delights.

===

Dungeon Master: The Walker will spend two of its legendary actions and begin beating its skeletal wings fiercely. Gerty and Herb are the two that are going to be closest here and I would like you to make dexterity saving throws.

Gerty: Big 5 for Gerty.

Herb: [00:14:00] 12.

Dungeon Master: You both take 14 points of bludgeoning damage and are knocked prone. The skeletal wings beat and you are thrown back. Although, they don't have any flesh on them, they somehow magically are still summoning a great wind that buffets you, throwing you into the ground, and this creature lifts up into the air. It does not go far, it does not seem to be able to fly for very long, but with a short burst of speed, it flies up and over you, Herb, and lands right in front of Bud.

Bud: I'm trying to scream, but I can't because I'm paralyzed. So I'm just stared at this thing wide eyed and then the smell just hits me like a ton of bricks.

Dungeon Master: Oh, what a terrible stench. It's awful. It's so [00:15:00] bad. Go ahead and roll me a constitution saving throw.

Bud: Okay, that's an 18.

Dungeon Master: 18 will do it. That ends the paralyzation. And you are now immune to it for the rest of this encounter.

Da'ryl: As the initial fear hits me, I just think, What am I doing here? I gotta get out of here. And I start to back up, but then I see Bud silhouetted by the light, this horrific creature looming over him. And it takes me back to a moment years and years ago, to the last job that Bud and I did together. When we were stealing from a creature you do not steal from. I just remember this bright hot light as the mouth of a giant dragon began to heat up with flame. Knowing it was my end. And in that moment some wisecrack from bud rang out. It was dumb enough [00:16:00] to distract this creature and allow me a chance to slip away. That moment that he saved my life, I think it weighed on me, in some way that I couldn't really handle and we drifted apart for years and years. That's something I've been ashamed of for a long time. And so seeing my old friend silhouetted before this terrible creature, I steal myself and get ready to do what I can. However, what I didn't notice is that the diaper had twisted to the side and now my face is poking through one of the leg holes, providing no protection at all, as this stench wafts over us and I go into a full paralysis.

Dungeon Master: Amazing.

Da'ryl: I need to make a con save.

Dungeon Master: Yes, please.

Da'ryl: That's a two. That's twice as good as I did last time.

Dungeon Master: [00:17:00] Grondar, you are being flung about in the air, stuck onto this creature's antlers.

Grondar: The world is spinning wildly around me, flopping like a ragdoll at the mercy of the Walker. And the world keeps spinning, spinning, spinning around, and he closes his eyes, and he draws on primal energy that thrums beneath the surface of the earth. The incantation, it's more of a plea at this point to these forces. And he feels a warmth spreading across his skin. Flesh hardening, taking on a texture and strength of bark, and he's doing this simply because he's afraid that if he doesn't cast this spell, Barkskin, then he will be torn in half.

Dungeon Master: So you cast Barkskin, and bark that is living and fresh seems to sever the connection [00:18:00] that these skeletal antlers have to you. Your spell is spreading across your body and when it crosses the wound that you are impaled upon, it slices through the old, dead antlers, and you drop to the ground.

Grondar: The Cinderwood Walker has gone by many names in its long, long life, but the one that I've found that is the oldest is in an ancient, long lost druidic language. And this name comes to him as he's lying on the ground, he reaches up his hands, and what he wants to do now is get its attention by saying its name. Maybe he can connect to it and it will attack him instead of his friends? Branchülke.

Dungeon Master: Roll a persuasion check.

Grondar: 21.

Dungeon Master: Once again, you all see [00:19:00] this creature, the yellow in its eyes goes out, the entire form slackens a bit as if the animating force that is binding these various dead creatures together into one thing is weakening, and he almost reaches out a claw as if to scoop up Grondar in an embrace. But then, FLASH! There's the yellow again. Everything tightens back up. The creature screams out to the moon. And the Cinderwood Walker continues its rampage. And, since you are right there, it is going to try and attack you again, but you have a Sanctuary placed on you, so it brings up its claw to bring it down on Grondar and unable to follow through, it turns and slashes at Bud. 12.

Bud: 12 don't hit none.

Dungeon Master: 12 don't hit none. It's gonna bring its hooves up and try to destroy Grondar once more. That's a three [00:20:00] wisdom save, so those hooves are gonna come down on Bud. 22 to hit.

Bud: Oh, yeah, that's gonna do it. But I've been clocking this thing since it missed me the first time and I'm gonna dive to the side so quick it's uncanny.

Dungeon Master: So that 11 points of bludgeoning damage is brought down to five, as once again you all see this miraculous, uh, moment where these hooves are coming down and the creature struggles for a moment in midair before glancing off to the side and pummeling Bud. And then finally, its antlers are going to swing back around, and this time possessed as it is with this preternatural intelligence, its yellow eyes are going to clock onto Gerty and it's going to swing its antlers around into her. 20 to hit Gerty. So that'll be 11 points of piercing damage and it is your turn.

Gerty: [00:21:00] How is Grondar looking?

Grondar: Grondar is is looking very, very, very bad.

Gerty: Holding the spot where the Walker pierced her, Gerty looks over and sees Grondar clinging to this mortal coil. She runs to Grondar, nudging him with her foot. Open up, toots! As she pours an iridescent silvery blue liquid into your mouth. So that's six points of healing for you. And then she's going to throw her Spiritual Weapon, a giant orb of pulsing shimmering white light streaks from her palms. And that's a 24 to hit for 12 points of damage.

Dungeon Master: As your orb of light smashes into the Cinderwood Walker's skeletal, pronounced snout. The light of the orb seems to shine onto flesh and fur that is made whole in its [00:22:00] light for a brief moment before passing and revealing that dead creature's skeleton once again. He is going to again claw at Gerty.

Gerty: As sparkles rain forth, Gerty pops off another Warding Flare reaction.

Dungeon Master: 15 to hit.

Gerty: That does hit.

Dungeon Master: No! The flash comes a moment too late as the claws bash into you. Oh, you take 11 points of slashing damage from the claw.

Gerty: Gerty's down.

Dungeon Master: As Gerty falls to the floor, you all see mushrooms beginning to sprout and her very skin beginning to turn black as she takes necrotic damage as well. And Herb, it is your turn.

Herb: Nobody. Hurts. My. BUDDIES! And I go into a rage! As I stand up from prone, each claw that digs into the ground to get myself [00:23:00] up, it's slow and deliberate. And the ground shakes, as I push myself up to my full standing height. And crackling lightning is surrounding my shell and my claws. And one arc of lightning shoots out towards the Cinderwood Walker and he needs to make a dexterity saving throw.

Dungeon Master: That's a nine, but he's going to use his last legendary resistance to just straight up tank it. Lightning crashes into him and it almost seems to, like, energize this dead Frankenstein creature.

Herb: He used a legendary resistance to resist one point of lightning damage. I grab my stupidly large meat tenderizer, and I run up to be face to face with this thing, and lightning crackling, I'm gonna take a swipe right [00:24:00] between his eyes, recklessly! 17 to hit.

Dungeon Master: That hits.

Herb: 16 points of damage on the first hit.

Dungeon Master: Woo, boy.

Herb: As it connects, I pull back, and I turn around, and I go straight for the antler that swiped both Gerty and Grondar.

Bud: Oh, ooh.

Gerty: Ooh.

Herb: Recklessly! That's 25 to hit! 14 points of damage to his antler!

Dungeon Master: The antler crackles and snaps and breaks off completely, leaving the Cinderwood Walker without antlers with which to attack.

Gerty: Love to see it.

Dungeon Master: Herb faces down this huge behemoth, and the Cinderwood Walker seems to be, yes, certainly wounded, certainly damaged, but that yellow, animating, enervating force flashes brighter under the fury of your blows, [00:25:00] and it returns the same to you. It'll use a legendary action to attack you with it's claw. 25 to hit, that's gonna be 11 slashing damage, 8 necrotic damage, and I need you to make a strength saving throw.

Herb: 23!

Dungeon Master: Like Superman catching an oncoming train. This claw crashes into you and you just grrrrrrrr, just grappling it like you're holding a bull by the horns and just grrrrrrr.

Herb: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Cinderwood Walker: Rawr!

Bud: Herb! Hang on, man! Hang on! Oh my gods. Gerty's down. Grondar's been skewered like a piece of meat. Da'ryl's just paralyzed. I look down at my crossbow, and then I look back up at the Walker. What good is this, man? This ain't gonna do nothin'. My friends are about to die, and there's nothin' I can do. Gods [00:26:00] dammit, Bud. You're just a tired old gnome.

Memory Theo: He's tired. He wants to sleep. Let Todd rest.

Memory Da'ryl: You see the hat that I wear in your hands and I say, This is my hat of disguise. Do with it what you will.

Bud: Nobody hurts my buddy. And my crossbow slips out of my hand. I rummage through my pouch and I pull out the cultist robe and toss that to the ground. I reach back in, out comes the medallion. I throw that on the ground too. Come on, man. Where is it? Finally, my hand closes around this soft felt and I yank that out of my bag. It's a hat, way too big for me, but I slip it on over my head and I yell as loud as I can. Todd!

Dungeon Master: The Cinderwood [00:27:00] Walker, still locked in battle, claw ready to crush Herb into the ground, turns and does like a confused.

Bud: And when the Walker turns back to look at me, he don't see a middle aged washed up deep gnome. He sees a young Halfling boy, just over two foot tall, with brown hair and eyes, wearing a red sweater, brown trousers, and bare feet.

Bud-Theo: Stop! Stop! Todd! Stop! These are my friends. They don't want to hurt you.

Bud: I hold out my hands as if I want to give them some scratches.

Bud-Theo: It's okay, it's okay. Come here, come here. It's okay, shh, shh, shh.

Dungeon Master: The yellow flashes again for a moment, and it seems to be struggling, but it comes over, padding very slowly, curls up like an enormous [00:28:00] dog and prepares itself for scritches.

Bud-Theo: I'm sorry that my friends were hurting you.

Dungeon Master: The creature goes and it seems calm, but you also see that, like, yellow light just, like, crackling within it, and the entire body, as much as you'd ask it to be calm, seems tense and taut, because these various corpses and dead plant matter are holding it together, desperately fighting against the natural rot of death.

Bud-Theo: They were confused and scared. Just like you. You're so tired. You feel like you could sleep forever. It's time. I know. I'll miss you too. But it's time to rest. [00:29:00] All you have to do is let go.

Dungeon Master: You see that crackling flash of yellow in its eyes. As it exhales, the whispers, that tritone whisper builds to a crescendo, as if all of the many creatures and beings and spirits that have been mashed and amalgamated together into this one thing all exhale a sigh of relief and depart to whatever plane they need to rest. And a massive mound of dead body parts and vegetation and slough cascade down upon you, Bud, like a wash of the worst dookie in the world. You are covered in the death stench of the [00:30:00] Cinderwood Walker as it discorporates back into the various pieces that once made up its being.

Bud: Oh man, that ain't natural. The Walker's gooey, rotten meat slurry washes over me, completely submerging my entire three foot five inch body. I take a finger, I just scoop the slime out of my eyes and my nose, spit some out, and then I pull off the Hat of Disguise, and I give it a good shake, and I try to brush some of that @#$% off of there, and then I turn to Da'ryl, and I look him in the eye, and I just, I gave him one of those knowing nods, and I toss the hat back over to him.

Da'ryl: Eyes watering from the stench, the hat just hits me in the face, as I'm still paralyzed. [00:31:00]

Everyone: Hahaha!

Herb: Gerty! I run over, and I pop a Dr. Healgoods, and I slam it in her gullet.

Dungeon Master: Gerty, you have not yet rolled a death save, had you?

Gerty: I had not yet rolled death save, no.

Dungeon Master: Okay, cool. So this is a Natural One. You take two failed death saving throws. As essentially what is being poured down your throat are horrible chemicals. It's a bad drink. It is effectively poison. Light poison, but poison still. Like, you know, in the same way that all alcohol is a little bit of poison. So you take two death saving throat failures.

Gerty: Neat.

Dungeon Master: You all see, Gerty is like, [00:32:00] choking on this terrible stuff. It's a very sharp chemical smell. Dr. Healgoods is hoo, it packs a punch.

Bud: Wow, is that normal? I don't know, man, that looks kinda weird.

Herb: I think she had some regular good stuff in her pockets. Hold on! And I go diggin' through her pockets to look for a real healing potion.

Da'ryl: Move aside, it's not there. I stole it earlier. And I'll just pour it down your throat, as I rolled a natural 20 to become unparalyzed.

Grondar: Yes! Yes!

Dungeon Master: Oh my gosh, amazing!

Da'ryl: There you go. There you go. There you go. Yeah, there's some trash in there. Yeah. Yep. Get that other stuff out.

Gerty: Oh, I don't, I don't like that. Hi. Hi, everybody. Oh, whoo.

Bud: Gerty, you gave us a fright, man.

Gerty: I went to the light, but I [00:33:00] chose to come back. Oh, everything's fine. My eyes are watering a whole, whole lot. Yeah.

Bud: Mine too. Just sit on down here. Yeah. Have some sip of water. Thank you.

Dungeon Master: There is a cheer that rises up from the direction of the town.

Herb: The fundraiser!

Bud: What in the hells? Does that sound like what I think it sounds like?

Herb: Is Theo back in town?

Gerty: At the fundraiser?

Herb: But Sheriff Thorne. He had him in a cage.

Gerty: Maybe he escaped.

Da'ryl: Doubtful. It's probably a trap.

Grondar: I'm not sure it matters.

Bud: Yeah, Gondar's right, man. If Theo's at the fundraiser, we gotta get there either way.

Dungeon Master: You all make your way down to the town square, and as you do, the crowd seems to be in a celebratory mode. Everyone is cheering and clapping, some people are crying and hugging each other. You see up on a small little erected [00:34:00] stage in front of a banner that says, Mystra's Glen Fundraiser for Theo Diggle.

Da'ryl: We shouldn't be out in the open.

Bud: No, you're right. Let's sneak around the back of the stage. There's less people over there.

Dungeon Master: You see Mayor Eustace Dinglehopper with his arms around Theo Diggle, who seems shaken, but otherwise unharmed. His mom is holding his hand, and Sheriff Thorn is standing on the stage proudly, and Mayor Dinglehopper steps forward to the little MycoPhone that's erected at the stage, and he says,

Dinglehopper: This is exactly what our great and wonderful police and sheriff and officials of Mystra's Glen have been working toward. This is our victory together. We have once again [00:35:00] proven that our little town can overcome the greatest and most terrible odds. Everyone, another cheer for the rescue and return of Theo Diggle!

Dungeon Master: Hip hip! Hooray!

Bud: Y'all, get down! Get behind these crates!

Dinglehopper: Now, good people of Mystra's Glen, I wish I could tell you that tonight's fundraiser marks the end of our troubles. That Theo's safe return would bring everything back to normal. But unfortunately, that is not the case. The parties responsible for taking young Theo from his family are still at large. What's worse, these fiends are members of our own community, masquerading as our friends and neighbors, while they've been committing these horrific and cowardly acts. Sheriff Thorne. Would you [00:36:00] please?

Thorne: Thank you, Mayor Dinglehopper. Crygglinexxerflump Buddlicker, the turtlefolk, Herb, Gerty McGillicuddy, Grondar Pawsniff, and an unidentified Drow elf are highly dangerous and should not be approached under any circumstances. They inserted themselves into our investigation of Theo's disappearance, claiming to be looking for Theo. When in fact, they were the perpetrators. These criminals didn't just tear a helpless child away from his family. No, they are also thieves and murderers.

Bud: What the @#$%?

Herb: This is bull@#$%!

Da'ryl: Shh! Shush!

Dinglehopper: Thank you, Sheriff. Yes, I'm saddened to report that a beloved member of our community, Barlow Brittlebottom, was [00:37:00] found dead this evening. I'm afraid it's murder most foul. He had been battered and poisoned. Rest assured, Sheriff Thorne and his deputies are working tirelessly to apprehend these dastardly degenerates. But we are asking all of the citizens of Mystra's Glen to be vigilant.

Townsfolk: Oh my god, no!

Dinglehopper: Now, now, I know this is shocking and difficult to believe. Unfortunately, we have irrefutable proof. Scrying eye transmissions were recovered of Buddlicker, Herb, and their accomplices. Thorne, play it back, please.

Scry-Bud: We're running out of time, man! We're out of time! Come on!

Scry-Da'ryl: Press it!

Scry-Bud: Press it! Herb, you did it! You're a godsdamn [00:38:00] genius, man!

Scry-Da'ryl: Quickly, inside.

Scry-Bud: Oh man, oh man, I cannot wait to see what kind of sweet ass treasures they got up in this @#$%.

Scry-Herb: I'm gonna charge him.

Scry-Bud: Yeah, Herb, kick his dick in the dirt!

Scry-Herb: You're a stupid potato!

Dinglehopper: We are doing everything in our power to bring these criminals to justice. But we need your cooperation!

Dungeon Master: The five of you, covered in gore and viscera, guts and, uh, disgusting necrotic tissue and blood. There is a gas. Some of the people near you faint and pass out from the horrible smell.

Spif'f: Oh my gods, [00:39:00] what is that smell?

Dinglehopper: Oh.

Kwill: I'm going to be sick! UGH! COUGH COUGH COUGH!

Dinglehopper: Thorne, get your deputies under control! As I was saying, if you have any information on their whereabouts, please report it to the Mystra's Glen Sheriff's Department immediately.

Kwill: Ahem, ahem, ahem.

Thorne: Oy what were you two on about?

Spif'f: I think something died, sir.

Kwill: And that thing vomited up another dead thing! And then

Thorne: Shut it! What in the bloody hells are you talking about?

Kwill: I have never physically seen a smell before, but sink me!

Thorne: Shut it!

Spif'f: You don't smell that?

Thorne: Oh, Gods below! Mayor! Mayor! The smell!

Dungeon Master: I [00:40:00] know!

Thorne: That means...

Dinglehopper: It doesn't matter! Find them!

Thorne: Why are you still standing here? Find them!

Spif'f: It's coming from right over there!

Bud: Oh, @#$%! We're busted!

Grondar: We need to go, now!

Herb: There's too many people, they'll see us!

Gerty: I have an idea! And Gerty reaches into her component pouch for ruby dust. Carving a symbol through the air just before touching the stage as she casts Continual Flame on it. It appears to catch fire, in burning yellow and red and orange flames. They jump from the floorboards onto the curtains and rise up the fundraiser banner. Soon they've spread all over, making it appear as if the entire stage has become engulfed in an inferno. And now, some ambience! She'll also add in Thaumaturgy to add [00:41:00] pops and crackles as the flames dance and roar to life!

Spif'f: Fire! Fire! Fire! Oh, Kwill save me!

Da'ryl: Go, now! Move!

Grondar: Run!

Pickle: Wait!

Herb: Pickle!

Bud: How'd you know we were here, man?

Pickle: It wasn't hard! I just followed my nose! I've been keeping an eye on things here, like you asked! It's not good!

Herb: Quick! We need to get to Rosie and the boys!

Pickle: No, no, Herb! No, you can't!

Herb: What do you mean?

Pickle: They're under some kind of spell. They're not our friends anymore.

Herb: We can't just leave them!

Pickle: Trust me, they won't come with us!

Bud: Y'all, y'all, we gotta get the @#$% outta here!

Pickle: I know! I brought this!

Bud: The Portable Hole.

Grondar: We need to go.

Bud: Da'ryl, Da'ryl, can you still turn invisible? Where the @#$% is Da'ryl, man?

Da'ryl: I'm already invisible.

[00:42:00]

Bud: Okay, y'all. It looks like we're going back in the hole. Everybody in! Come on, come on, come on, let's go. Da'ryl, you take the hole, get us out of town. And remember, you only have

Da'ryl: Ten minutes. I know.

Herb: We're leaving Mystra's Glen?

Bud: I don't think we got a choice, Herb.

Gerty: What about my shop?

Herb: What about our friends and my garden!

Pickle: They're coming! Hurry!

Da'ryl: Go! Everybody in!

Herb: I can't believe we're running away, Bud.

Bud: I know, Herb. But the funny thing about running away, sometimes, it's the only way to get back home again.

Anna Fitzgerald: The Adventures of Bud and Herb is brought to you by The Pocket Dimension. Created by Anna Fitzgerald and Evan [00:43:00] Bivins.

Evan Bivins: Episode 9, Goodbye Mystra's Glen, stars Evan Bivins as Crygglinexxerflump "Bud" Buddlicker, Sheriff Thorne, and Pickle Grimsby.

Anna Fitzgerald: Anna Fitzgerald as Herb and Theo Diggle. Seth McKay as Da'ryl X'orrin and Spif'f the Guard.

Evan Bivins: Matthew Bivins as Grondar Pawsniff and Kwill the Guard.

Anna Fitzgerald: Alison Kendrick as Gerty McGillicuddy and Alejandro Tey as the Dungeon Master.

Evan Bivins: Produced and edited by Anna Fitzgerald, Evan Bivins, Matthew Bivins, and Alison Kendrick.

Anna Fitzgerald: Sound design by Evan Bivins. Original character art and poster by Bridget Connell.

Evan Bivins: Special thanks to Alejandro Tey and Greg Hess.

Anna Fitzgerald: Please consider supporting our show by becoming a patron at patreon.com/enterthepocketdimension

Evan Bivins: or find us on youtube and all socials @enterthepocketdimension